Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Marriage Music

I love watching mature couples in love. Their lives are like well-choreographed dances. They know when to dip, and when to twirl, and when to let someone else dance with their partner for a while – trusting that they will always go home with their life’s partner, when the time comes.

Ralph and Wanda are like that. They’re both very busy, very talented people, and they both fully support each other’s various endeavors. Ralph’s the soft-spoken type; while Wanda’s a professional singer. Ralph stays busy, especially in the fall, with the Ruritans. Wanda stays busy with her church, her music, and her grandchildren. When Ralph is managing Ruritans, Wanda is usually acting as executive assistant or clean-up committee member. When Wanda’s on stage, Ralph is usually in the wings acting as sound engineer. Their eyes still twinkle when they speak of one another. What could be better than that?

Frank and Greta were like that. Greta is a woman of rare good humor who would rather be in her own home surrounded by family and friends than anywhere else on earth. Frank never met a stranger or an adventure he didn’t want to participate in. Frank loved the way Greta loves their kids and grandkids, nieces and nephews, and all the huge circle of family and friends they welcomed into their home. I’m not sure he ever stopped adding onto their backyard entertainment area. There are resorts without all the family comfort amenities Frank built for Greta in Coker Creek. And when it came to Frank’s many civic projects, Greta was there as supporting cast -- making sure that the detail work got done.

My long-time friends, Eleanore and Johnny, were like that. Johnny was a proud WWII veteran from the rough side of New Orleans. Eleanore is a dignified New England matriarch. They truly loved the dance of life, attending VFW dances until health problems stopped their music. Their verbal sparring was legendary. Eleanore loved to say that if a married couple never fought, someone wasn’t thinking -- and that she and Johnny were the “thinkingest couple in the world.”

Till the day Johnny died, he referred to Eleanore as “my girl”, and would proudly announce, when asked the color of the cars he bought, “Blue, like the eyes of the woman I love.” Johnny was a consummate salesman and patriot. Eleanore is the consummate teacher and tourguide. From the time Johnny sold himself to Eleanore at a USO dance until Eleanore buried her Johnny, Eleanore let him believe that he was leading the steps to their family dance – as any well-brought-up New England lady would do. But we know who was guiding that tour.

I see a lot of this kind of couple a lot in Coker Creek. Coker Creek seems to attract couples who really like each other. Many have escaped here from places that were just too hectic for the tempo of the music of their lives.

I used to tell my children that they should marry their best friend. Whether couples are best friends at the altar or become best friends as they hold hands through the terrible/wonderful dance of family life, it’s beautiful to watch the ballet after two become one.