What a messy affair emotions are. Yesterday, I almost wept over the taste of a perfectly ripe peach; the awe its perfection inspired took away my breath. Living in such close, quiet quarters with my man and my memories keeps me ever-extreme in my emotions.
I’ve never considered myself a greedy person, but I really am greedy for my people. I can’t get enough of the essence of them in my mind; even when my emotions are stretched to the breaking point, I want more time, more connection, more making memories. Every child I ever held, in some small way, became a part of me. Every friend or family member I ever hugged has a hold on my heart. Heaven for me would be to have all my people right next to me simultaneously. For now, I have to settle for enjoying them from afar.
I love being able to live vicariously with my grandchildren, family, and friends through Facebook and email. I’ve been able to enjoy my oldest grandchild’s summer activities through the pictures her friends have posted on Facebook. With families these days being so busy, if we didn’t have electronic ways to keep up, we may not be able to recognize our own grandkids by the time we do get to see them in person.
Our grandson’s joy at being able to witness and even participate in rescuing sea turtle babies also came through on Facebook. His dad has promised to post pictures of the monumentally memorable event. I almost feel like I’m there when I’m made privy to the pictures, and Nick’s passionate prose. It does sometimes make my heart hurt with the longing to hear their voices, see their faces, and smell their special smells, but that’s the price we pay for allowing ourselves to love.