Monday, January 11, 2010

Recovering From Recovery

Richard says he finds it unbelievable that celebrities regularly check into hospitals to recover from exhaustion. He says, if he was a celebrity, we’d put out the word that he’s been released from the hospital due to exhaustion. The hospitalist finally showed up at 1:20 to listen to Richard’s lungs. The problem, according to Richard, is that the hospitalist was so obviously punchy from sleep deprivation; he forgot to instruct Richard to breathe, so Richard’s not sure what good listening to his chest did. I guess the hospitalist just didn’t want to forfeit a billable visit to Richard’s room.

The respiratory therapist came in at 3:00 to give Richard his breathing treatment. He was back at four because he had forgotten to check Richard’s oxygen. This is done by placing a clip on the end of the patient’s finger. Richard is congratulating himself on his restraint in not reacting in his most wicked way when the respiratory therapist told Richard to “Give me a finger.”

Several times, the CNA came for Richard’s vital signs, once having to return within fifteen minutes because she had forgotten her stethoscope in Richard’s room. This is all in addition to the new and improved hospital beds that groan at you every time you move a muscle. This is an indication that the pump is working to adjust the pressure in the hospital version of an air mattress. This may be a necessary feature for nursing home patients and people in comas, but do we really need to encourage ambulatory patients to be so lazy they don’t even adjust their own bodies in the beds? When was the last time a bedsore was reported in a patient who can walk? I don’t object to the feature; I just wish they had a switch for deactivating it.

Richard has begun complaining about the food, declaring that it’s part of a campaign to combat obesity. While Richard was digesting his hospital cuisine, I had a wonderful meal of Veal Rockefeller and sautéed mushrooms delivered to my motel room from a family owned Italian restaurant. As soon as Richard was released from the hospital, Iput him to bed at the motel. When he awakened, I ordered him a really good meal delivered to our room. He was still coughing so badly that he was afraid he’d scare off all the restaurant’s customers if we went out. Since we can’t navigate the roads back to our house until the icy roads improve, we may take in a movie or two while we’re snowbound in the “big city”.

Adam is giving us daily updates on temperature and humidity in Coker Creek. Unfortunately, his latest report was of temperature of 9.1degrees with fifty-two percent humidity. He and Josie also sent photos of the frozen waterfalls in our area, which are beautiful, but don’t give us much hope of passable roads anytime soon. If it weren’t for my fear that Gypsy and Buster will decide that we’re never returning and that they will find new homes, I’d be happy to simply declare the time it takes for the ice to melt as a vacation.

Adam and Josie and Deborah and Charlie have offered to come fetch us, but we may get brave and risk it ourselves. Mary and Don's offer of homemade soup is sounding very good...

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