It feels so good to be back to a routine. The thing that I missed most about our lives before Richard became disabled was a rhythm to our lives created by his schedule. I was brought up to wait on those who take care of others. No matter how I fight this, it's still my comfort zone. This isn't a problem for me as long as there are young families, non-profit public relations efforts, or recuperating family and friends around.
When Richard was working, his schedule was brutal; many weeks he worked well over sixty hours. We had to carefully plan any time together. As social as I am, I'd often have to declare a week-end of "just the two of us". I often thought that I could be happy with only the two of us and the occasional visit from family and friends. I got what I wished for, in spades.
After Richard became ill, his energy was limited; simply having him continuing to breath became my primary goal. We had to limit his exposure to the germs of others, so having him around babies and small children was dangerous. My world contracted to be all about him and his health, but we still had easy access to our family and friends when we (or I)wanted company.
When Hurricane Katrina wiped out our house, our neighbors' homes, and the homes of most of our families and friends, she left behind all kinds of microorganisms that were potentially deadly to my man. We went away, but still came back often to help our people rebuild. They are all settled again, and we've been missing the celebrations.
I like to be home, preparing for my man's return. This requires that he go somewhere. There were only very few places to go in Coker Creek, and there was no urgency to anything. I also don't like to be in organizations that change my priorities from family and friends to hobbies.
For eleven years I've been creating daily events to give us a sense of purpose. In our little house in the forest, we were entirely focused on each other. We have about worn each other out with togetherness.
Now that Richard has daily employment (although it is volunteering), I can spend my days reading, writing, and being the best wife, mother, granny, and aunt that I know how to be. This feels like the life that I was meant to live.